well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
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