After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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