Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i have two assholes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
