i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
