I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
