I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
