Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
