Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
