whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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