Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
