I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
