I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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