I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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