i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
