I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
