Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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