How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
