if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
