no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
