I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
