you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
