Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
