I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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