I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
