She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
be right there i have to get my cape
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
