u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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