'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
