saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
