I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
