trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
