she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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