If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
