Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
