i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
