we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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