My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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