I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
