I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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