it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize