Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
