you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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