my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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