found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
