Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's official drugs can't kill me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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