Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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