Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize