I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize