i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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