I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
