Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
