I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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