Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
