We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We are all done wearing pants today
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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