I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
