Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
