Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
