I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
