If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
