Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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