The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize