I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
