Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My vagina is officially offended.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
