Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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