you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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