My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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