Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
