I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
