Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
