He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
